It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Randomize
