My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
