i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
