i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
