does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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