So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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