Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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