I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
