You don't have asthma, your pregnant
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
