Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
