Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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