I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
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