I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I want to have your abortion
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
