The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
