he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
