i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
