We're facebook friends in real life
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize