dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Randomize
