Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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