She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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