the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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