I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
