so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
