Well apparently he's into motor boating.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I touched a dick in church today
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
