Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Randomize
