We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
