I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
