your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
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