at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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