I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
do herpes really smell.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize