No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
did i just pee glitter
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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