Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
either way he was missing a nipple.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
