I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
So much Jack, so little girl.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Randomize
