Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
