Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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