The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
She said her name was "party"
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
