I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
