omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
she woke up with a sticky ear
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
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