at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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