All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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