Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
