end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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