He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
