o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Randomize
