I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
