You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
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