if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
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