Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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