I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
