In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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