dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
