He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Randomize
