1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Randomize
