i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize