Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
