The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
