While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
