If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Randomize
