why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
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