she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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