nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
