I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
