Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
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