the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Randomize