even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
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